Sharings 

Chapter 10:      Begins to describe the favours which the Lord granted her in prayer.                                      Explains what part we ourselves can play here, and how important it is that should understand the favours which the Lord is granting us.

     I used sometimes, as I have said, to experience in an elementary form, and very fleetingly, what I shall now describe. When picturing Christ in the way I have mentioned, and sometimes even when reading, I often unexpectedly experienced a consciousness of the presence of God, of such a kind that I could not possibly doubt that He was within me or that I was wholly engulfed in Him. This was not a vision: I believe it is called mystical theology. This favour is entirely the gift of God. It seems, however, that we can do a great deal towards obtaining it by reflecting on our lowliness and our ingratitude to God, on the great things He has done for us, on His Passion, with its grievous pains, and on His life, which was so full of afflictions. We can also do much by rejoicing in the contemplation of His works, His greatness, His love for us, and a great deal more. Anyone really anxious to make progress often thinks about such things. If to this there is added a little love, the soul is comforted, the heart melts and tears begin to flow. For the trifling pains we have taken, His Majesty appears to be rewarding us with the great gift of the comfort which comes to a soul from seeing that it is weeping for so great a Lord; In this the soul finds its encouragement and joy. The joys that come through prayer are something like what the joys of Heaven must be.

     God gives us these gifts not because we have merited them. Let us be grateful to His Majesty for them, for, unless we recognize that we are receiving them, we shall not be urged to love Him. And it is a most certain thing that, if we remember all the time that we are poor, the richer we find ourselves, the greater will be the profit that comes to us and the more genuine our humility.

     It is a very evident truth that we love a person most when we have a vivid remembrance of the kind actions he has done us. If then it is lawful and indeed meritorious for us to remember that it is from God that we have our being, and that He created us from nothing, and that He preserves us, and also to remember all the other benefits of His death and of the trials which He had suffered for us now living, long before any of us was created, why should it be not lawful for me to understand, realize and consider again and again that the Lord has now granted me the desire to speak only of Himself. Here is a jewel which invites and constrains us to love. All this is the blessing that comes from prayer founded on humility.

     We must seek new strength with which to serve Him and try not to be ungrateful, for that is the condition on which the Lord bestows His jewels. Unless we make good use of His treasures, He will take these treasures back from us and we shall be poorer than before and His Majesty will give the jewels to some other person who will make better use of them.

His Passion with its grievous pains

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Chapter 11:         Gives the reason why we do not learn to love God perfectly in a                              short time. Begins, by means of comparison, to describe four                              degrees of prayer, concerning the first of which something is                              said here. This is most profitable for beginners and for those                              who are  receiving no consolations in prayer.

      I shall now begin to speak of those who are beginning to be servants of love - for this, I think, is what we become when we resolve to follow in this way of prayer Him Who so greatly loved us. If we attain to the perfect possession of this true love of God, it brings all blessings with it. But we are so stingy and so slow in giving ourselves wholly to God that we do not prepare ourselves as we should to receive that precious thing which it is His Majesty's will that we should enjoy only at a great price. Being unable to make a full surrender of ourselves, we are never given a full supply of this treasure. May His Majesty be pleased to give it to us little by little.

     The Lord shows great mercy to him to whom He gives grace and courage to resolve to strive after this blessing with all his might. For God denies Himself to no one who perseveres, but He gradually increases the courage of such a person till he achieves victory. I say "courage" because of the numerous obstacles which the devil at first sets in his path to hinder him from ever setting upon it, for the devil knows what harm will come to him thereby and that he will lose not only that one soul but many more. If by the help of God the beginner strives to reach the summit of perfection, I do not believe he will go to heaven alone but will always take many others with him.

     I shall say something of the early experiences of those who are determined to pursue this blessing and to succeed in this enterprise. It is in these early stages that their work is hardest, for it is they themselves who work and the Lord Who gives the increase.

     The beginner must think of himself as one setting out to make a garden in which the Lord is to take His delight, yet in soil most unfruitful and full of weeds. His Majesty uproots the weeds and will set good plants in their place. Let us suppose that this is already done - that a soul has resolved to practise prayer and has already begun to do so. We have now, by God's help, like good gardeners, to make these plants grow, and to water them carefully, so that they may not perish, but may produce flowers which shall send forth great fragrance to give refreshment to this Lord of ours, so that He may often come into the garden to take His pleasure and have His delight among these virtues.

      Let us consider how this garden can be watered, so that we may know what we have to do, what work it will cost us, if the gain will outweigh the work, and for how long this work must be borne. It seems to me that the garden can be watered in four ways:

           * by taking the water from a well, which costs us great labour      0r

           * by a water-wheel and buckets, when the water is drawn by a windlass; It                is less laborious than the other and gives more water.      or

           * by a stream or a brook, which waters the ground much better, for it saturates            it more thoroughly and there is less need to water it often, so that the gardener's work               is much less.        or

        * by heavy rain, when the Lord waters it with no work of ours; a way incomparably            better than any of those which have been described.

             (To be continued)

The four ways of watering the garden

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